No Day But Today
by Owl
Summary: IT'S FINISHED!!! Zack/Jondy pairing, happy ending, the works. Please read and review. It's an awesome story if I say so myself. And I do.
1. Forget Regret

There are some things you just don't do. Screwing your pseudobrother while you're in heat is one of them. But like I always say, forget regret. Shit's over and done with. Move on. You only have one life (unless you believe in reincarnation, of course), so enjoy it while you can. There's no day but today.

~*~

Jondy didn't sleep. She just pretended to. Like she was doing now, Zack's arm tight around her, her head tucked under his chin. The sun was just beginning to peek over the edge of the building across the street. With some regret, she slipped out from underneath his warm, comforting hold.

He looked so cute when he was sleeping. It was the only time his face bore any semblance of looking peaceful. Even now, his brows were creased. Gently, she smoothed the skin between his eyebrows with her thumb. There.

Oh no. Warm fuzzy feeling alert.

She sighed and shook her head to clear it. She didn't need any romantic, idealistic, impossible thoughts right now, Zack-oriented or otherwise. Pulling on her robe, she padded over to the refrigerator in her bare feet. Opening the door and looking inside, she was sadly disappointed in its contents. A root beer, a couple of ice teas, and a partridge in a pear tree. Well, everything except the last part.

She was starving. She should be, considering… She decided to get dressed and go out for something to eat.

After a quick shower, she rummaged through her closet, drying her hair with a towel. She pulled out jeans and a shirt and put them on. As she tied her ratty old sneakers, Zack's jacket caught her eye. Black leather. Nice. She grabbed it as she went out the door. Although she didn't want to admit it, she knew that she was doing it to make sure that he'd still be there when she got back. Zack had a habit of making quick exits.

As she walked outside, she put it on, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She liked it. It smelled like Zack. Sweat, leather, and something vaguely spicy. Must be some cologne, or aftershave, or something. Whatever it was, it smelled good.

His scent alone was enough to get her stomach tightening. She thought that she'd exercise when she got home, despite her soreness from the previous night's activities. She didn't need it, what with her genetically-enhanced body and all, but sometimes it helped relieve the need.

Telling herself to worry about working out later, she refocused on the important things instead. Two blocks away, she could smell food. Good thing too, because her stomach was growling audibly now and she was starting to get weird looks.

~*~

She walked inside, kicking the door shut behind her. The oil was seeping through the brown bag in her hands, making her hands greasy. "Zack, I got some breakfast!" she called, dropping the bag on the table.

When she got no answer, she peeked into the bedroom. The bedroom was empty, the bed neatly made, all clothes that had been hastily discarded the night before neatly stacked on a chair. Her heart sank, the knot in her stomach growing. So much for a guarantee.

"Great," said a voice beside her. She turned to him, trying to hide her relief. He was wearing jeans and nothing else, rubbing his hair with a towel. "What's in the bag?"

"Chinese food. The breakfast of champions. The all-star diet of X-5s everywhere," she joked, trying to keep her tone light, even though all she wanted to do was run her hands all over his body.

He grinned, then changed the subject. "That's my jacket."

"You noticed."

"I was wondering where it went."

"I was cold. Besides, it looks better on me."

If she could just keep up this witty repartee, she might be okay. But something must have shown on her face, because Zack asked, sounding suspiciously like he actually cared, "Are you okay, Jondy? Last night too much?"

Any other time, she might have accused him of making fun of her, but his tone was dead serious.

"Actually," she managed to say, "I think I might need more."

Instead of backing off like she had expected, he took a step closer and wrapped his arms around her. She could feel his lips next to her ear as he said softly, "That's okay."

~*~

Fastforward to the next day. Jondy opened her eyes, with considerable shock. Had she been sleeping? What calamity had occurred in the universe for _that_ to happen? Although she suspected she already knew the answer. She tried to sit up and was rewarded with the knowledge that she was sore in places she hadn't even known she could be sore.

She turned to look at Zack. Except he wasn't there. She listened for a sound, a movement, anything that would tell her Zack was still there. She looked around. The clothes on the chair were gone, and so was the leather jacket. Feeling an innate sense of loss, she walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. The bag was still there, minus several cartons.

She should have known. She had known, in a way. For Zack to stay as long as he did was a miracle all in itself. But it wasn't enough. She wanted him to stay. She knew she was being selfish, but she didn't care. Yes, she did. She wasn't the only one Zack had to worry about. There _were_ other X-5s, in case she had forgotten.

At least the heat was over. She was safe. For another few months, anyway. Pulling out a carton that smelled like sautéed chicken, she popped it in the microwave. While she waited, she dug around in the bag and came up with a fortune cookie. Ripping the plastic off, she broke it open. She didn't like the taste of fortune cookies, just the fortunes, but she ate it anyway. Taste was not on her top ten list of things to worry about.

She read the fortune. "Good things come to those who wait." Like hell they did. Shaking her head at the incredible inaccuracy of the fortunes, cryptic as they were, she crumpled it up and threw it in the trash. Score! Three points. She sighed. Redding was getting old fast. She needed someplace new. Someplace exciting.

~*~

Zack went back to Jondy's apartment a few weeks later. The place was empty. Not so much as an empty bottle of tryptophan to show that someone lived there. Had lived there. She was trained well, he thought wryly. Too well. He stopped and shook his head. There was no such thing. Besides, she should have called him at the contact number.

He didn't ask himself why she hadn't told him. He knew why she hadn't told him. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Especially this woman.

~*~

Jondy chose San Francisco. Big and beautiful. As soon as she was settled (i.e. had an actual place of residence and fake ID cards), she went out looking for a job. But all the restaurants had enough waiters. All the stores had enough salespeople. No work could be found anywhere. Well, no honest work, anyway.

Finally, worn-out and tired, she went to a bar. As a rule, she didn't drink, but there were always exceptions. And she considered this a pretty damn good exception. The bar was almost empty, save a few drunks, regulars, Jondy suspected, and one guy in a suit who was having a hard time holding his head up.

"A beer, please," she said, sliding onto the stool. As the bartender put the bottle down in front of her, she asked, "Are there any job openings here?"

The bartender thought for a moment. "Well, we don't need any more bartenders."

Jondy's head dropped in despair.

"But…"

Her head snapped up, eager for the glimmer of a possibility.

"We could use some…live entertainment."

Her eyes narrowed. "I don't strip, if that's what you mean." She didn't mind getting a little down and dirty, but even she had limits.

The bartender spread his hands out flat, willing her to wait and listen. "I wasn't talkin' about strippin'. This here is a respectable joint."

"I'm sure," she replied dryly. "So what kind of…entertainment, _are_ you looking for?"

"Well, can ya sing?"

Jondy considered. She'd never tried, so she didn't know. But she didn't want to tell him that. Besides, she was a fast learner. Not to mention that this may have been the only available job in San Francisco.

"Damn straight I can. When do I start?"

~*~

Zack took a seat in a secluded corner of the bar, hidden by the shadows. The place reeked of alcohol and cigarette smoke. No kidding. It _was_ a bar. In fact, it even had that smoggy look to complete the effect. He scanned the crowd for Jondy, but she was nowhere to be seen. He had seen her come in, had followed her here in fact. She didn't even notice. Must be slipping.

After she left her apartment in Redding, he had searched California for tattoo parlors where barcodes had been removed, knowing Jondy had hers removed once a month. He didn't even want to think about what would have happened if she had left California. He also knew that Jondy didn't drink, so he was mystified when she got off her bike, gave the bouncer a high five, and walked into the bar.

Fifteen minutes later, he still hadn't seen her and was about to get up and leave. Just then, the lights in the already-dim bar darkened. That alone got a few whistles. Then the bartender took out a megaphone from behind the bar and announced, "Ladies an' gentlemen – I use the term loosely…" He waited for the few snickers to die down before continuing. "It is with great pleasure that I present Lady Luck herself, the Spirit of San Francisco…Kismet!"

Whoops and hollers greeted this announcement, including a few comments like, "She can make me lucky any day." Zack was starting to get a bad feeling about this. It didn't get any better when he saw who "Kismet" was.

Jondy stood on the bar, her feline eyes fierce, liberally rimmed with smoky grey eyeliner. Her chalky emerald eyeshadow brought out the green in her eyes while her teeth were blindingly white against the harsh ruby red lipstick. Her outfit, or lack thereof, was all black leather and lace. She wore a black see-through mesh tank over a black tube top, a black leather jacket, black leather shorts that looked like they had been painted on, black fishnets, and high black leather boots. Who said neo-Gothic wasn't in style?

The music started and she began singing. Her voice was sultry and smooth, flowing out over the audience that consisted mostly of horny drunks.

"What's the time?

Well it's gotta be close to midnight

My body's talking to me

It says, 'Time for danger'."

She swung around a pole and landed on the floor, crouched down.

"It says 'I wanna commit a crime

Wanna be the cause of a fight

Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt

With a stranger'."

Singing this, she sat in some guy's lap, obviously making his day.

"I've had a knack from way back

At breaking the rules once I learn the games."

She stood up, moving between the tables. She stopped before a guy who had slumped to the floor and shoved him back into the seat.

"Get up - life's too quick

I know someplace sick

Where this chick'll dance in the flames."

She jumped onto a table and started dancing, her body swaying to the rhythm. One guy stuck a few dollar bills down her boot.

"We don't need any money

I always get in for free

You can get in, too

If you get in with me."

She leaped off the table gracefully, her legs extended in a split. Zack wondered that her shorts didn't rip.

"Let's go out tonight

I have to go out tonight

You wanna play?

Let's run away

We won't be back before it's Christmas Day

Take me out tonight."

She worked her way down the bar, sometimes pausing to flirt with a customer. One of them grabbed her butt; her elbow met his temple and he went down.

They cheered. They fucking cheered.

"When I get a wink from the doorman

Do you know how lucky you'll be?

That you're on line with the feline of Avenue B."

She winked at the bouncer, who grinned. Zack wondered what their relationship was, exactly.

'Jealous? You're the one who left,' he chided himself. But he had to leave. He would have risked everything if he stayed. 'So?' a small voice in the back of his mind asked. It was the same voice that told him to stay when Jondy said she needed him. It was a voice he rarely listened to unless he was around her.

"Let's go out tonight

I have to go out tonight

You wanna prowl

Be my night owl?

Well take my hand we're gonna howl

Out tonight."

She lay down on the bar, her voice lowering.

"In the evening, I've got to roam

Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome

Feels too damn much like home

When the Spanish babies cry."

She spun around and stood up, her voice climbing. 

"So let's find a bar

So dark we forget who we are

And all the scars from the

Nevers and maybes die

Let's go out tonight

Have to go out tonight."

She leaned down, nearly face-to-face with a guy who must have been breathing toxic fumes in her face. 

"You're sweet

Wanna hit the street?

Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?

Just take me out tonight

Please take me out tonight."

Another guy, who apparently hadn't seen the first casualty, put his hand on her leg. Her boot slammed into his face and he fell off the stool with a gratifying thump.

"Don't forsake me - out tonight

I'll let you make me - out tonight

Tonight - tonight - tonight!"

She ended up the way she had started, her head thrown back, arms raised in a triumphant pose, as the lights blacked out.

~*~

In a way, the whistles and catcalls that followed her offstage (offbar?) were flattering. They liked her, although whether it was for her body or her voice… She decided she didn't want to know. The point was that business in the bar had started booming after she came, and that's all that mattered. That made her indispensable and her future, financially at least, as long as she was in San Francisco, was secure. And her shorts were safe for another night.

Zack was here. She had known it ever since he had started following her a few blocks away from her apartment. She should have known that he'd find her eventually. He always did, damn him. Why couldn't he just take a hint? If leaving her apartment in the middle of night wasn't enough of a hint for him, then he was pretty damn slow on the uptake.

Entering the room that doubled as her dressing room, she took off her jacket, flinging it over a chair. Next were the boots; they were cool for a while, but after the third or fourth hour, they started to hurt. She removed her mesh tank, then went to work on her shorts. Getting them off was a process. She wore a black seamless thong underneath so she wouldn't have any panty lines. It was also a precaution in case her shorts _did_ decide to rip.

She had just gotten her fishnets off when someone knocked on the door. "Just a second!" she called.

The door started to open. "I _said_, just a second!" When the door kept opening, Jondy hastily grabbed the nearest thing, her jacket, to cover her, as it opened all the way.

Zack was there, leaning against the doorframe. "I'm _trying_ to change!" she hissed, trying not to raise her voice and barely succeeding. He was looking at her, but not at her eyes. And yes, she was fully aware of how insufficiently the jacket was covering her.

"I have to talk to you."

"Well, can you _wait_?" she asked exasperatedly.

"If I do, will you still be here?" It was a fair question, one she wasn't eager to answer. "That's what I thought."

"Get out. You're right," she said as he started to say something, "I _don't_ want to talk to you. So leave."

She tried to close the door, but Zack was in the way.

"No."

Zack was about two seconds away from an intimate encounter with the floor.

"Well, if you're not going to leave, at least turn around and give me some privacy so I can get dressed."

"You weren't even wearing that much the last time we talked."

Slowly, she leaned towards him until their faces were inches apart.

"Neither were you."

He met her gaze evenly, his eyes unreadable. She realized that she couldn't remember him being surprised, or at least looking surprised, by anything. She closed the distance between them and kissed him, just to see what would he would do. Without any hesitation, he kissed her back.

A few minutes later, she was starting to feel heady from oxygen deprivation.

Wait, this wasn't supposed to be happening! She was mad at him, and rightly so. She pushed away from him and socked him in the stomach. Or at least, she tried to. He caught her fist and twisted her arm behind her.

"A good soldier doesn't let his emotions take control." Oy, he was using his "soldier" voice again. Like she was impressed.

Jondy elbowed him in the stomach.

"Look who's talking."

He let go of her and she spun around to face him.

"Zack, you're an asshole and I want you to leave so I can get dressed."

"Gee, Jondy, why don't you tell me how you really feel."

"Gee, Zack, why don't you try to be funny."

They glared at each other, neither willing to back down. Finally, telling herself that she was being the mature one, Jondy sighed, loudly, so he knew just how much of a pain in the ass he was to her, and walked away. She threw the jacket back over the chair, glancing in the mirror to see if he was watching her. He was. She was surprised to realize that it didn't bother her, and that bothered her. If it had been anyone else, she would have introduced her foot to his solar plexus just for looking.

She slid into her jeans and tied her hair back, heading over to the sink to wash her face. Once her gaudy makeup was gone, she turned around, only to find Zack standing about three feet away from her.

Without her makeup, she looked younger, more innocent, although Zack knew she wasn't either of those things. She looked like the girl next door, a normal girl with a normal life. But she wasn't that either, and she couldn't be even if she wanted to. She was a soldier, trained to kill, like they all were, although you couldn't tell that from her soft honey blonde hair or her delicate face.

But her eyes betrayed her. Flecked with gold, they were the color of the ocean, sometimes gray, sometimes blue, sometimes green, sometimes a combination. They were also as deep as the ocean, bottomless, with hidden secrets. Anyone who looked into her eyes would know that her body was only a physical shell, that her soul was ancient. But Jondy had a way of putting up shields, mirrors that would only reflect what she saw, nothing more, nothing less. Nothing of the person underneath.

Her voice, clearly irritated, brought him back to attention.

"You know I hate when you do that."

"First you didn't notice me following you, now this. You're slipping, Jondy."

She would have laughed if she hadn't known he was being serious.

"FYI, you're the one who's slipping. I noticed you. You're the one who didn't notice me noticing you."

He gave her one of those looks that meant he wasn't sure if she was kidding, and if she was, she shouldn't be.

She shook her head. "You are such a killjoy, Zack."

"I try."

"I know."

Perching on a stool, she tugged her big black combat boots on. "So why are you here?"

"You left without telling me."

"So did you."

Now she was the one who met his look squarely, her eyes defiant.

"You know why I had to leave."

"First of all, yeah, I do know, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Second, you found me, didn't you? So what are you complaining about?"

"I have to know where you are at all times. We can't let anything personal get in the way of everyone's safety."

"Anything personal?" She restrained the urge to smack him all the way into next Tuesday. Barely. "Zack, don't you ever…want anything to be personal?"

For a moment, she almost thought he would answer. Then his face became emotionless and he said, "What I want – what we want – is immaterial. We're soldiers."

Any attempts for self-control dissipated when he said that. She punched him. Her fist connected solidly with his jaw and he took a step back, astonished that she had hit him. Her lip curled back, baring teeth. "You had it coming, Zack."

She grabbed her jacket and left before he could stop her.

~*~

_"Do not attempt to adjust your set. This is a Streaming Freedom video bulletin. This cable hack is being beamed to you right across America. It cannot be traced. It cannot be stopped. This is a message for those known as X-5. You have been compromised. You are in danger. You know what to do. I repeat, your locations have been compromised. You know what to do. This message will repeat every hour on the hour until each of you has checked in."_

~*~

Jondy jumped off the bar and wiped her face with the towel Lou offered. For once, she would have liked to perform for someone other than a drunk who could barely keep his seat on the stool. But you take what you can get, and this was all Jondy could get. Besides, it paid the rent and that was all that mattered.

Her performance had been more…enthusiastic than usual. Maybe because her usual flirting was turning into an open invitation to get laid. One guy ran his hand across her backside and, instead of her usual retribution, she had rubbed against him, practically begging for more. She was in heat again, and she hated it.

Part of her wished that Zack was here. He always took the edge off. But she hadn't seen him for two months. _Lucky for him_, another part of her snarled. Who knew what she'd do if she saw him again? Yeah, she thought regretfully, who knew?

She sipped her beer slowly. She had discovered that alcohol dulled the need. It also dulled the rest of her senses, but she was willing to do anything to keep from screwing every last guy in the place… She watched a guy walk by, her eyes trailing appreciatively down his… She downed the rest of the beer hurriedly.

While she was lost in her thoughts, floating high on a cloud of oblivion, someone brushed her hair over her shoulder, baring her neck. The hair on the back of her neck prickled delightfully at the sensation. She turned around. Part of her was hoping it was Zack, but another part of her was hesitant, even afraid, of seeing him again.

But it wasn't him. It was someone much, much worse.

She knew she was in trouble when even Lydecker appearing didn't bring her back to her senses.


	2. Take Me Out Tonight

Just some more disclaimers/notes: The first (non-Rent) song is "It's My Life," by Bon Jovi, and the second one is, "This Side of Me," by Savage Garden. I'm not even sure if "This Side of Me" is a slow song, in fact, it's probably not, but for my fic's sake, pretend it is. And all the names, Maureen, Roger, Mimi, Mark, all taken from Rent. None of it's mine. NONE OF IT!!! Well, except the actual story, of course.

"Can I help you?" While her look was whorish, to say the least, her voice was an appealing combination of innocence and sex. Underneath all that makeup, she looked about sixteen. She didn't have a barcode, but that didn't mean anything.

"Are you Kismet?"

"Depends," she said, her tone teasing to guard the fact that she was being defensive. "Who wants to know?"

"I'm Donald Lydecker." He actually held his hand out for her to shake, sitting on the stool next to her.

"Well, Donald Lydecker, what can I…do for you?" she inquired suggestively. The thought of being charming and/or provocative to the man who had tortured her as child made the bile rise in the back of her throat. Or at least it would have if she hadn't been in heat. Now it just struck her as totally and utterly bizarre.

"I'm looking for someone." She smirked like she had heard this one before. "A girl, about nineteen, blonde, medium height, slim build. Have you seen anyone who fits this description?"

She opened her hands wide as if to say, 'You're lookin' at her.'

"She has a barcode on the back of her neck."

"…I'm sorry?"

"A tattoo. A barcode, on the back of her neck," he repeated slowly.

She thought hard, or pretended to, her brow furrowed. At last, she shook her head. "I don't know anyone with a tattoo like that. Most people go for hearts and stuff, the usual. What kind of person would get a barcode tattooed on their neck anyway?"

"A very special girl."

You're not kidding.

"Well, what's her name? Maybe someone else knows her."

"She goes by Jondy now, I believe."

She "thought" once more and shook her head again. "Don't know anyone by that name. But if I run into her, I'll be sure to tell her you stopped by."

"Thank you." He stood up and started to walk away.

Struck by inspiration, she called his name. He turned around. "If you need anything else," she stressed 'anything', "I'll be here."

He smiled in that quirky way of his and nodded before walking out.

She highly doubted that he would believe anyone who would flirt with him and tell him to come back in the same breath could be one of his kids. At least, she hoped so. Her life was depending on it.

She didn't believe for a second that Lydecker bought her act, and even if he did, she still had to be careful. He probably already had her apartment bugged by now, not to mention any number of places in the bar. From now on, everything had to be censored. What she did, what she said, who she talked to. She could only be thankful that she had had her barcode removed a few days ago.

She realized Lou had said something. "What?"

"I said, do ya know that guy?"

"No, but I don't need a dead sheep to prove that I've just met a wolf."

Lydecker's visit had spurred memories she wanted forget. Children marching down corridors … long sleepless nights … Max. The only one who understood, who could understand, complete and total insomnia. Confidants and best friends, they were only apart when something, or someone, forced them to split up.

Jondy had felt nothing but guilt since the escape. She had left Max, beneath the ice, to fend for herself, while she had worried only about her own survival. She didn't even know if Max was still alive, let alone where she was. If Zack knew, he didn't tell her. One more thing to hassle him about when she saw him again.

But on to more important matters. How did Lydecker find her? Did he know who she was? Would she go back to her apartment, only to find herself surrounded by tac teams? Well, that may have been stretching it a little, but she had been raised to believe that you could never be too careful, that there was no such thing as luck or coincidence, and that hope was for suckers. It was hard to forget childhood lessons that had been drilled incessantly into her brain.

She didn't try to forget. She wanted to forget, but she didn't waste time trying. Suppressed memories only come back all the more stronger when they do surface. Just accept them, take them for what they're worth, and move on.

Right.

~

__

The heart may freeze or it can burn

The pain will ease if I can learn

There is no future

There is no past

I live this moment as my last

There's only us

There's only this

Forget regret

Or life is yours to miss

No other road

No other way

No day but today

~

~*~

Jondy stopped at a payphone, leaving her motorcycle standing. Surveying the area, she dialed the contact number.

As soon as she heard the beep, she spoke, her voice deceptively rueful and harmless. "Oh, I'm sorry, I have the wrong number." She hung up.

Saying she had the wrong number was their code for saying she was in trouble. After she hung up, she dialed a random number, waited a few seconds as if she were actually waiting for someone to pick up the phone, then hung up again. If anyone was following her, she didn't want them to hit redial and have a chance at a hat trick. She got back on her bike and zoomed towards her apartment, leaving a path of burning asphalt in her wake.

When she got to her apartment building, she dismounted, leaving her precious bike covered by verdant (and completely fake) foliage. She crept into the surrounding shadows, evaluating the area and possible defense facilities simultaneously. As she admired the black, obviously military, SUVs in the parking lot, someone covered her mouth and pulled her further into the dark. The feel of a male body against hers was almost too much. 'Soldier, pull yourself together!' she commanded herself.

As soon as Zack let go, she turned around and kissed him hard, then crouched in the shadows next to him. He looked surprised, all right, but she was too frustrated to enjoy it. "Shit." Then, on second thought, she asked, "How did you get here so fast?"

"I was in the area," he answered without looking at her.

'In the area my ass,' she thought to herself. 'He was waiting for me.'

"There's about twenty troops inside, in or around your apartment."

"About?" she asked, raising her eyebrows slightly. Zack getting an approximate number was like eating cereal for breakfast.

"Some might have come in from the back. I can't be in two places at once."

She made a face at his reproachful tone. "Could've fooled me."

"Should we take them on or do you just want to leave?"

She looked at him with alarm, her face seriously concerned. "Zack, you just asked me for my opinion. My advice. Are you feeling okay?"

He shook his head. "I'm serious, Jondy."

"As am I."

"Is there anything in your apartment that could give you away?"

"A big sign that says, 'Manticore Sucks!', but that's about it." She held her hands up in a sign of surrender as Zack turned his infamous frosty glare on her.

She thought for a moment. "A bottle of tryptophan," she said finally. "But I keep with other vitamins so there won't be any suspicion. Other than that, just clothes and food. Which I can always get more of. Speaking of which, if I'm really desperate, I can just go back to the bar and get the clothes I left there. I was totally working the black leather and lace thing."

Zack groaned. "Jondy…"

"Zack." She stood up and dusted herself off. "Okay, okay, I'm leaving." She sneaked a glance around the corner and was just about to leave when Zack pulled her to him and kissed her, holding her tight. When he finally let her go, she smiled up at him impishly. "Mm. I should get into trouble more often."

"Don't even think about it."

She just smiled at him and pulled her blue-tinted goggles back over her eyes. "Catch ya later."

She crept back to her motorcycle and turned the ignition on quietly. She wheeled the bike onto the sidewalk before jumping on and roaring off into the night. A few moments later, she heard a second motorcycle pulling up beside her. She turned to flash a grin at Zack before putting on some speed. It was only a matter of time before they were seriously burning some rubber. Jondy let out a whoop as the numbers on the speedometer rose up, up, up. Riding her baby was almost as good as sex.

A few seconds later, though, she signaled for Zack to pull over. "What is it?" he asked, nearly panting with exertion and exhilaration. They both loved it, the way their pulses quickened and their heartbeats accelerated with the speed. And she wasn't sure that Zack could say the same, but she loved the way the wind whipped her hair around her face, making her feel free and wild at the same time. It was a great stimulator as well as relaxant.

"There's a sector checkpoint up ahead," she explained, nodding up the road. "Do you want to be a good little soldier or blast through?"

"Blast through," they said together. Simultaneously, they stepped on the accelerator and raced towards the checkpoint.

It wasn't until they were a good five miles away that Jondy dared to ease up on the pedal. Eventually, they sped past a battered sign that read "Welcome to Sausalito." Further up the road, Jondy noticed a run-down motel. She looked at Zack for affirmation, who nodded. As they got off their bikes, she said, "Let me do the talking, okay?"

He looked at her. "Why?"

"No offense, but whenever you open your mouth, you have the tendency to piss people off."

He opened his mouth to object, then closed it.

Jondy grinned. "I knew you'd see things my way."

As they walked in, she slipped an arm around his waist. He glanced at her, but she wasn't looking at him. She approached the desk, a ready smile on her face.

"Hi. We were wondering if you had any rooms available, preferably one where we won't be…" She glanced sidelong at Zack. "…disturbed." She smirked meaningfully.

The receptionist, a woman not yet out of her prime, winked at her knowingly. "Of course."

She scanned the logbook. "Room 246 is available."

"How many beds?" Jondy inquired.

"One twin."

"Oh, that'll be just fine," Jondy assured her. For effect, she pinched Zack's butt. She nearly laughed out loud at the expression on his face when she did that. He must have jumped a mile. It was priceless.

After Jondy had illegibly scrawled out the paperwork and gotten the key, they took the elevator to their room. "How did you do that?" Zack wanted to know. "No questions, no nothing."

"Oh, you know." With exaggerated nonchalance, Jondy brushed her fingernails on her jacket and blew on them. "It's a girl thing."

The elevator doors opened and they stepped out. They walked down the hall in companionable silence, each thinking their own thoughts, before Jondy stopped before a door. "This one." She inserted the key and turned it, having to push against the door with her shoulder before it opened.

She surveyed the room with disappointment. For the money she wasn't going to pay, it was pretty shoddy. One bed, as promised, a chair, and a table that had a Bible on it. There were two doors along the wall, one Jondy assumed was the bathroom while the other must have been a closet or something.

She turned to Zack as he stood besides her, scrutinizing the room as well. With shock, she realized how exhausted he looked. Stubble grazed his face, making him look dirty and unkempt. As if on cue, he rubbed his eyes tiredly. Guess that top-secret CO stuff was really wearing him out. Had it been anyone else, she would have asked if he wanted to talk about it. But it wasn't anyone else, it was Zack, and he wasn't going to tell her anything.

Jondy glanced out the window. The sun had worked its way past the horizon line and was now beginning to ascend into the sky. Knowing that, unlike her, Zack needed sleep, she suggested, "Why don't you get some sleep? I'll get some food and stuff. Is there anything you need while I'm out?"

"A razor, if you can manage it."

She smiled. "I think I can handle that." She hesitated, then kissed him on the cheek.

Before Zack could say anything, she was gone.

~*~

"Honey, I'm home!" Jondy called out in a stage-whisper as she opened the door and tiptoed in, her feet silent on the wooden floor. A smile touched her lips as she walked across the room, setting the bags on the table. She looked around for Zack; the bed, though obviously slept in, was empty, and the bathroom door was shut.

"Zack, you in there?" she called.

No answer.

"Zack!"

She walked over and rapped on the door impatiently. Still no answer.

She tried the doorknob. Locked. "Zack, I'm coming in," she informed him before kicking the door open.

Zack was huddled in the corner, the color drained from his face, shaking violently. Jondy took one look at him and walked back out. A few seconds later, she returned, carrying a bottle of tryptophan. Taking the cap off, she kneeled next to him and held the bottle to his lips. As his shivers started to subside, she put a comforting arm around his shoulders. She didn't say anything; she knew how much it embarrassed him to have others see him like this.

Finally, once the seizure was over, he spoke. "I'm okay."

"You sure?"

He nodded, not meeting her eyes.

'Male pride always gets in the way of good communication,' Jondy thought ruefully. She got up and Zack followed suit. She turned to go.

"Jondy?"

She turned to face him.

"Thanks."

She smiled and gave him a hug, which he returned. She was really starting to work her make-love-not-war influence on him.

"Now," she said, "how about some breakfast?"

As they sat companionably at the table, scarfing Chinese food like it was their last meal, Zack asked, "Do you always eat this for breakfast?"

"No," she replied, looking at him. "Sometimes I eat Thai."

She met his look straight-faced. There was a pause of about five seconds before they started laughing.

If only it hadn't been true.

"Why do you ask?" she inquired once they went back to devouring the chow mein. "Worried about my calorie intake?"

He looked at her, a smile tugging at the edge of his lips. "Something like that."

"Well, I could get McDonald's instead if that would make you feel better," she offered. He smiled at her before going back to making serious eye contact with his food.

__

He has a nice smile, she realized.

"You should smile more, Zack."

He stopped, the fork halfway to his mouth.

"I think you take life too seriously. You should get out more. How about we go clubbin' tonight?" she suggested, her eyes sparkling.

Her mouth was moving faster than her head. Again.

"It's too dangerous!" Apparently his was, too.

"What, you think Lydecker's going to be looking for us at clubs? Wow, Zack, you do need to get out more," she teased.

He turned red and looked down.

"Zack, you're looking at your chow mein more than me. I'm starting to get jealous."

He looked at her. "What do you want, Jondy?"

"I want you to go out with me. Hit the clubs. This whole 'staying at home alone' thing really isn't healthy," she added, touching his arm.

"You're serious."

"Extremely."

"I… Jondy… I…"

She waited patiently.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

He didn't answer.

"That's what I thought. Tonight, eight o'clock." She glanced down at herself. She was wearing her black leather jacket, a grey muscle tank that showed her bellybutton, and black pants. "Damn, I really should have gotten my stuff from the bar. These are not good clubbing clothes. Oh well."

Zack gave her a look before going back to his chow mein.

__

~  
What's the time?

Well it's gotta be close to midnight

My body's talking to me

It says 'Time for danger'

It says 'I wanna commit a crime

Wanna be the cause of a fight

Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt

With a stranger'

I've had a knack from way back

At breaking the rules once I learn the games

Get up - life's too quick

I know someplace sick

Where this chick'll dance in the flames

We don't need any money

I always get in for free

You can get in, too

If you get in with me

Let's go out tonight

I have to go out tonight

You wanna play?

Let's run away

We won't be back before it's Christmas Day

Take me out tonight (meow)

~

~*~

"Remind me why I'm doing this again," Zack muttered as they walked in.

"Because you're a good person and I love you," she joked lightly. He looked at her as she checked out the scene. She could feel his eyes on her, but she kept her eyes focused on some indeterminable subject in the distance. Dammit. Her heat had been lying dormant, but now it was back in full swing. Jondy hated when it tricked her into thinking she was home free.

"Hey, babe, wanna dance?" a guy asked.

She looked at him, then glanced at Zack. It took all her effort to say: "No, thanks."

The guy looked at Zack, too. "Don't let this prick keep you from having a…good time." He made an obscene gesture, which apparently Zack took offensively because he started to move forward in a very threatening way. Or maybe it was being called a prick. Jondy didn't know, but she wasn't really sure it mattered.

Jondy stopped him. "Maybe some other time."

"How about now?" The guy grabbed her arm. Instinctively, she flipped him over her shoulder. He lay on the floor, groaning.

"Like I said, maybe some other time."

She walked past him without a second glance, Zack close behind. She took a seat in a dark, secluded booth. Old habits die hard. Zack slid in across from her. Shame she had to put the moves on that guy, she was thinking, he was kinda cute. She realized Zack said something.

"Hm?"

"I said, does that happen a lot?"

She shrugged. "Enough."

They sat like that for a few minutes, just taking it all in. Just then, a peroxide-blonde girl, who obviously hadn't finished dressing before she came, walked up to the booth. "Hey, wanna dance?" (It was a pretty common pick-up line, in case you couldn't tell.)

It was with some shock that Zack registered that she was talking to him. He looked at Jondy for help, but she just grinned.

The girl followed his gaze. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she apologized to Jondy. "I didn't see you there."

"No, it's okay," Jondy assured her, trying not to laugh. "I don't mind. Really. Go ahead, have a good time. Mind if I just talk to him for a sec?"

"Not at all." The girl obviously thought Jondy was going to give him a 'don't get too friendly' lecture. How wrong she was.

"Okay, listen," she began once the girl had walked away, "people are going to flirt with you. It's just a fact of life. We won't even mention the fact that you're genetically engineered to be cute. So I want you to go out there and at least pretend to have a good time." As he stood up – Jondy was sure he was mentally thanking her for the little pep talk – she added, "Work on your social skills while you're at it; they could use a little brushing up. And for goodness' sake, _smile_. You don't have to look perpetually sullen _all_ the time."

Jondy watched him walk away, a devious smirk on her face. He had the cutest walk. Anyone who watched him walk (and she hoped she was the only one) would definitely not guess that he had near-perfect balance. He also had this adorable way of tilting not just his head, but his whole body, to the side while he was talking, as if he was taller than everyone else so he had to bend down to be on eye level with them. Coupled with that whole tough he-man thing…

"Excuse me."

Jondy looked at the speaker. Tall, dark, and handsome. Meow.

"Would you like to dance?"

Ooh, a come-on that didn't involve the word "wanna." She was intrigued.

"Sure."

She followed him out onto the dance floor. As they danced, she listened to the song. It was one of those old rock songs from about twenty years ago.

__

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted

No silent prayer for the faith-departed

I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd

You're gonna hear my voice

When I shout it out loud 

The guy was a good dancer, whoever he was. She couldn't even begin to count the number of times guys had stepped on her feet.

"By the way," he said as he spun her around, "I'm Roger."

"I'm…Mimi," she replied. She had to admit, she was quite impressed. First, he used a (relatively) original pick-up line, now he was telling her his name. What next? Phone numbers, maybe? Hell, the way Jondy was feeling, she'd be happy to skip right to the bedroom scene.

__

It's my life  
It's now or never  
I ain't gonna live forever  
I just want to live while I'm alive  
(It's my life)  
My heart is like an open highway  
Like Frankie said  
I did it my way  
I just wanna live while I'm alive  
It's my life

~*~

Roger had been watching her ever since she had walked in. But seeing her flip a guy over her shoulder, not to mention that bad-ass guy she was with, was more than little intimidating. But just look at her. She was beautiful. Natural, too. Most women Roger knew looked like shit without makeup on. Actually, most of them looked like shit _with _makeup on.

He was surprised when she accepted his offer to dance. He had been a little apprehensive that she was going to break a vital body part. But she just looked at him with her beautiful blue grey eyes and said, "Sure." At that moment, he felt as though that may have been the most singularly fantastic word in the English dictionary. And now they were dancing.

__

This is for the ones who stood their ground  
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down  
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake  
Luck ain't even lucky  
Got to make your own breaks

Before they knew it, the song ended and they were left frozen where they were standing. His arm was around her waist, Mimi's beautiful, soft, kissable lips precious inches away from his. Her eyes, now blue-green, were open wide, a questioning look in them. He leaned towards her… Suddenly, she pulled away from him and turned around.

~*~

She was having a perfectly good time, more than a perfectly good time, when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around. What now?

It was Zack. The bubbly (fake) blonde was tagging along, too. Two's company, three's a crowd, but four is just too damn much.

"Hey."

"Yeah." _He better have a damn good reason for doing this_.

"Hi!" the blonde chipped in.

"Um, yeah, hi."

"Oh, this is Maureen. Maureen, this is…"

"Mimi."

"Hi!"

"We've been there." More than Maureen's cheerfulness, she was looking at Jondy in a way that was a little too…friendly.

_She _is_ kinda cute –_ _Ugh, what am I doing?! Damn heat. Like getting turned on every time I see a guy with a pulse isn't bad enough, I have to get turned on every time a girl looks at me the wrong way. Or the right way, I should say – Stop it!_

It wasn't that she had anything against lesbians; she just wasn't one.

"This is Roger. Roger, this is…"

"Mark."

_Will Zack ever choose an alias with more than one syllable? Nah_.

"Do you want to dance?"

She looked at him, tilting her head to the side, asking silently, 'Is Maureen really that bad?'

'Worse.'

"Sure," she said out loud. She turned to Roger. "Sorry, but I'm kinda obligated to dance with him since I dragged him here."

"It's all right. I'll see you later?" He made it a question.

"Yeah," she replied with a smile.

Zack practically hauled her to the other side of the floor. Whether it was to get away from Maureen or to get her away from Roger, she wasn't sure. As they got there, the catchy tune that was playing ended and a slow song began.

"Oh God," they both thought.

__

I want to move in time with you  
I want to breathe in rhyme with you  
I want to feel the deepest kiss  
And I want to know you feel like this

Finally, Jondy looked up at him. "So, are we dancing or not? I mean, if you don't want to, I'm sure I could find someone else…"

Zack put his arms around her waist, careful not to violate any "don't go there" rules Jondy might have had. Which she didn't. She adjusted his hands, then smiled at him. "There, that's better." She took a step closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

__

For this one time, one time  
Let my body do what it feels  
For just this one time, one time  
Let this fantasy become real  
Because I am not afraid to let you see this side of me  
  
I want to feel your hand in mine  
And I want to feel that rush in my spine  
I want to wear the scent of you  
And do all the things you want me to

Jondy laid her head on his shoulder, relaxing as the music swept over her. But relaxing meant letting her guard down. And letting her guard down meant letting her heat take over. Not a good idea, but it was too late. She moved closer to Zack, pressing her body against his. She felt, rather than saw, him turn his head towards her. "Jondy?"

"Mimi," she corrected softly, running her hands down his back. Being in heat made her senses all disoriented. Things came to her as sights and sounds and colors, not as a complete idea. A sharp intake of breath. Zack. She nuzzled his neck, loving the smell of him. Now another scent was added to his usual leather and spice. She didn't know what it was, but it was really turning her on.

Oh, God. What was she doing?

~*~

__

I feel the danger, the separation  
I want to take your invitation  
This separation it's all around  
I need this side of me

Dancing was not a lesson they had had back at Manticore. Jondy sighed and shifted in his arms. But instead of pulling back like he had expected, she moved closer to him until their bodies were melded together. Her closeness was making any attempt to think logically completely futile. Not that he really wanted to.

__

I want to move in time with you  
I want to breathe in rhyme with you  
I want to stitch my clothes in sin  
And in the dark  
I want to find that door and go within

He could smell her shampoo from here. Peppermint, and something floral. Or maybe it was perfume. Whatever it was, it smelled good… What hell was he doing? Just because pheromones were making him act stupid, that was no reason for him to get carried away like this. None of it was real, and all it was good for was getting you killed.

She rubbed her nose against his neck, sending a tingly feeling straight to his – He pulled away from her and walked away without saying a word.

~*~

He left her alone on the floor. Amidst all the people, all the happy couples, she had never felt so isolated. But before she had any chance to wonder about his strange behavior, someone touched her shoulder. She spun around, all defenses going up.

It was Roger. When she saw him, her hands lowered and a slow, almost feral smile spread across her face. Here she was, a damsel in distress just begging to get laid, and her white knight appears. How…convenient.

She moved closer to him, wondering if he was up to the challenge, and idly entwined her fingers with his. If he was saying something, she wasn't listening. Instead, her lips next to his ear, she asked her own question: "Your place or mine?"


	3. La Vie Boheme

One more disclaimer: this song is "Can't Fight the Moonlight" by LeeAnn Rimes

One more disclaimer: this song is "Can't Fight the Moonlight" by LeeAnn Rimes. Sorry if you don't like the song lyrics. What can I say? I'm a music junkie!

~~*~~

~

__

Um

Wait

Slipped

Shit

Ow

Where'd it go?

Safe

Damn

I think I missed

Don't get pissed

It was bad for me

Was it bad for you?

~

Jondy crossed her arms and sat back, glowering, unhappy and unsatisfied. Roger might have been a good dancer, but in bed, well, he sucked, for lack of a better term. So now she was in the bed of some guy she barely knew and still jumpy as hell. She had to get out of here. Quietly, she pulled on her clothes and sneaked out.

She got on her motorcycle and rode off into the night, a lone figure in the darkness. As the trees and houses merged into one shapeless blur, the vibrating machine between her legs only served to intensify her agitation. _Dammit_, she thought_. I'm in heat and the only guy I'd let fix me – I mean, fix it, is acting all weird._

She thought things couldn't get any worse. And of course, whenever someone thinks that, that's exactly when it does. This time is no exception because this is a cliché story where things like that happen. So on with the story.

She pulled up in front of the motel and got off her bike. As she did so, she started shaking. Just little tremors at first, then they became more and more violent. She had only reached the door when she collapsed.

__

This isn't fair! Isn't it against the rules to have this many bad things happen in one night? Don't I at least get to be in the privacy of my own room before it happens?

At any other time, she would have berated herself for thinking fairness had anything to do with it, but seizures tended to make her think a little irrationally. So did being in heat. The combination made her outstandingly stupid. Finally, she had a total system shutdown and blacked out.

~*~

The receptionist was the one who found her. "Miss? Miss, are you all right?"

The girl didn't respond, either because she was still unconscious or because it was a stupid question. (It was the former, although the latter would have been just as believable.) The receptionist, Allison, didn't have the slightest clue what to do. Should she call 911? The police? The girl didn't appear to have any injuries, but that didn't mean anything.

Not wanting to leave her out on the sidewalk, but not strong enough to haul her in, Allison rushed back inside. She nearly collided with the young man who had arrived with the girl. "Excuse me," she stammered, "but the young lady you came with – outside – something happened, I don't know–" She couldn't stop babbling. Luckily, the young man had grasped enough of what she had said to understand that his girlfriend was outside and that something bad had happened to her.

Zack ran outside. Jondy was sprawled on the sidewalk, unconscious, her already pale skin paper white. Luckily, it was still early in the morning, so there weren't any people standing around and gaping like idiots. He brushed her hair away from her face and checked her pulse. It was there, strong and steady. He felt her forehead. Her skin was clammy, but her temperature was normal.

He scooped her up in his arms and carried her inside, barely straining under her weight. The receptionist was there, still prattling to herself. When she saw Zack, she asked, "Should I call 911? The police? The–"

"No."

"But–"

"No."

~*~

Jondy came to an hour later, still very much in heat. (_"Oh, just go_ away_!"_) Zack was looking out the window, his back to her. She sat up, mentally checking herself for injuries. Her head hurt a little (she suspected she may have hit it a few times on the cement), but other than that, she was fine.

"Zack."

He turned around and walked over to her, sitting on the bed next to her. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

_Damn, he looks good – Stop. Just stop._

She shrugged. "I'm okay. I think I may have knocked my head against the cement a few more times than is healthy, though."

"Turn," he commanded. She obeyed, making a face when he couldn't see her. Gently, he checked her for injuries. "Does that hurt?" She didn't mind answering the first time, but after about a dozen times, she was starting to get a little irritated.

"Zack. I will tell you when it hurts, okay?" She said it slowly as to make sure he understood.

She could feel him trying not to smile. "Okay."

But any male touching her, Zack or no, made her feline DNA very…active. Finally, when she couldn't stand it anymore, she turned around and kissed him hungrily, her tongue exploring his mouth. In a few minutes, their clothes were on the floor and she was pushing him down onto the bed.

_Finally._

~  
_Take me_

Take me

Today for you

Tomorrow for me

Today me

Tomorrow you

Tomorrow you

Love

you

Love you

I love

You I love

You!

Take me

Take me

I love you

~

~*~

_Wow. I just had sex and I'm not in heat anymore. Things are looking up._

Jondy settled back against the pillows and looked at Zack. He was lying on his back, hands on his stomach, his eyes closed. As if he felt her gaze, he opened his eyes and looked at her. Smoky blue eyes met soft gray-green ones. They looked at each other without saying anything. Finally, Jondy spoke.

"Do we just use each other for sex?"

Her voice was mild and didn't betray what she was thinking.

Zack didn't answer.

"Because it always seems like whenever you visit, I'm in heat and then we always end up having sex and…well, I was just wondering…you know…" she ended lamely.

When it became apparent that he wasn't going to answer, she turned her back to him and began searching for her clothes. "Where's my bra?" she muttered, hunting through the pile of clothes on the floor. "Zack, have you seen – oh." He tossed it to her and she finished dressing. She started to pull on a boot when she realized it was about two sizes too big. Not bothering to look, she tossed it behind her in Zack's general direction. "Think fast."

She heard him catch it, then: "I do."

She turned around briefly to stick her tongue out at him, then went back to dressing. When she had finished lacing her boots, she ran a hand through her hair and stood up. "Well, I only signed the room out for a couple of days, so we should probably get going before we're actually forced to pay for it."

~

__

We're not gonna pay

Last year's rent

This year's rent

Next year's rent

Rent rent rent rent rent

We're not gonna pay rent

'Cause everything is rent

~

~*~

By the end of the week, they reached Crescent City, a small city on the water near the California/Oregon border. "Have a thing for lakeside views, huh?" Zack asked Jondy.

"Better believe it," she replied with a grin. "You stickin' around?"

"I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Oh." She didn't know what else to say. Instead, she focused on painting her toenails, a luxury she allowed herself every now and then. (She had already done her fingernails.) The nail polish was the color of midnight, a deep blue-violet, laced with silver shimmer.

Zack glanced at her. "What is that smell? Did you steal one of Zane's stinkbombs?"

"Nope, better." She held up the nail polish bottle. "A formaldehyde bomb."

Zack groaned. "Women."

"Men. Hey, I was thinking of visiting Tinga next week."

Zack looked at her, then back at the floor. "She's not in Portland anymore."

Jondy stared at him with surprise. "Why not? I thought she wanted to stay with Charlie and Case."

"I made her leave."

"Of course you did, O Sensitive One. Why?"

"It was getting too dangerous."

"Why was it getting too dangerous?" For some reason, Jondy had to know. Zack had always evaded her when she asked questions about her pseudosiblings, and she had let him, but now she wanted to know.

"Lydecker was on to her." He still wasn't making eye contact.

"How did Lydecker find out where she was? For that matter, how did he find out where I was?" He didn't answer. "What aren't you telling me, Zack?"

He hesitated, as though debating whether to tell her something, then, finally, he spoke. "The last couple months, before I came to visit you, I was at Manticore."

The fearless leader of the X-5s got caught? What was this world coming to? Jondy had to joke about it, or else she would crack. Like Ben had.

"How did it happen?" she asked at last.

"I was careless."

"Bullshit."

He looked at her. "You don't think I can be careless?"

"No, I don't," she replied frankly. "You being careless is like…" She waved her hands around, trying to find an adequate simile. "Me being subtle. Just ain't gonna happen."

He smiled, but it was strained.

"Who helped you get out?" Jondy wanted to know.

"No one," he answered quickly.

"No one my ass. If you're just going to lie to me, Zack, save your breath." Disgusted, she got up to leave. As she turned to go, Zack said one word.

"Max."

Slowly, Jondy turned around. "You know where Max is?"

He nodded.

"Where?" When he didn't answer, she demanded, "Where is she, Zack? Tell me."

He shook his head. "I can't let you–"

"Fuck what you can't let me do! Tell me where she is!" She was almost yelling now. She didn't care what anyone heard, she didn't care about any of it anymore. All she wanted was to know where her sister was.

Apparently Zack had decided that he had told her enough. He crossed his arms, looking at her, but not saying anything. Jondy had had enough. In a surprising burst of speed, she shoved him against the wall, nearly choking him.

"Where is she?" Her voice was dangerously low.

Zack took too long to answer. She tightened her vice-like grip on his throat.

"Seattle."

She let go. She knew he could have fought her, but he didn't. Maybe he just wanted to be able to say that she hadn't _really_ kicked his ass this time because he didn't try to fight back. A bruised ego, particularly Zack's, could be a wondrous thing.

She pulled on her jacket, freeing her hair from under the collar.

"Where are you going?"

"Seattle. Where else?"

Where else, indeed.

~*~

Zack had decided to tag along after all. After they had gotten a hotel room, Jondy grilled him about Max. What was she up to? Where did she work? Did she have a boyfriend? (Zack refused to answer that one.) Jondy eagerly absorbed all the information she could on her sister and once best friend.

"Where does she live now?"

Zack shrugged. "She lives in Sector 4, but a…friend of hers has an apartment in Sector 9."

"Sector 9?" Jondy repeated. "Isn't that where the rich people live?"

Ignoring that, Zack continued, "You can usually find her there."

"What's the address?"

Zack gave it to her. "The guy's name is Logan Cale."

"Ooh, so there _is_ a guy in the picture. Does he know…?"

"Yeah," he answered shortly.

"This just keeps getting better and better. Thanks, Zack." She took a deep breath, trying to smile. "Well, here I go. Wish me luck."

"There's no such–"

"Yeah, yeah, there's no such thing, blah blah woof woof. See ya."

~*~

Jondy dropped in through the skylight, landing silently on all fours. Just then, a man entered the foyer, studying the papers he was holding. "You know," he said, "there _is_ a door–" He looked up, and Jondy froze.

They stared at each other from their separate vantage points.

_Cute, in an intellectual preppy sort of way_.

_Beautiful, in an other-worldly kind of way_.

Replying to his earlier comment, Jondy remarked dryly, "Thanks for the heads-up."

"Anytime. So," he said conversationally, as though he wasn't a complete stranger whose apartment she had just broken into, "how can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Max."

"She's not here right now. May I ask who's calling?"

It took Jondy a second to realize that it was a joke.

_I will never understand rich white guy humor_.

"I'm…her sister."

"Sister?" he repeated. "Are you…?"

"One of those supersoldier superfreaks?" she finished, standing up. "Yup. Name's Jondy. You must be Logan."

"Jondy? I've heard a lot about you."

"Most of it good, I hope."

"Most of it," he said with a grin.

Jondy raised an eyebrow, smiling in spite of herself. "So how long have you and Max been together?"

"Ah…we're not like that."

The arched eyebrow went higher. "Riiight. Do all guys go through phases of denial or are you and Zack just special?"

"Zack?" He made it a question.

She shook her head. "Never mind. So, do you know where Max is?"

"Last I heard, she was going to Crash."

"Crash? As in, sleep? Max doesn't sleep."

He stared at her in confusion until he realized what she meant. He laughed, and it was a nice-sounding laugh. Jondy could see where the attraction came in. "No, Crash is a club." He told her the address.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Um, this isn't meant to offend you, but aren't you a little young to be from Manticore? You look like you're sixteen."

"I'm nineteen," she retorted defensively. Like living on the run wasn't bad enough; now she was being told she looked young for her age. "Anyway, I'll be going. See ya."

"'Bye."

~*~

After she called Zack, telling him to meet her at Crash, she headed to the club. As she walked in, the first thing that struck her attention was a big cardboard sign that said, "Kareoke Contest! Prize: $500".

Wow, a chance to meet her sister and earn some cash at the same time. Jondy was psyched. (Hey, she needed the money, okay?) She signed up, then took a seat at the far corner of the bar. She scanned the crowds, looking for Max. Would she know her when she saw her? Or would she have to go up to complete strangers and ask them if they knew someone named Max? She preferred the first way, but she didn't always have a choice in the matter.

An hour and a few drinks later, Jondy was still in her seat, watching the singer on stage. The girl was singing a song about heartache and denial. How ironic. Jondy thrummed her fingers on her thighs impatiently. She was almost up, and Zack still hadn't shown.

_I swear, if he bails on me this time…_

Well, she had kicked his ass once. She could do it again.

"Introducing…Angel!"

Okay, she was up. She stood up and walked on stage, politely making way for the girl who had just been on. She scanned the crowds for Zack.

_Dammit. Aw, hell, screw him. Oh, wait; I did._

Finally, she nodded to the DJ. He pressed a button and the music started. As the intro played, Zack walked in. Fashionably late. When he saw who was on stage, he raised his eyebrows. Jondy resisted the urge to make any sort of facial gesture in response. Instead, she just waited for her cue and began singing.

"Under a lovers' sky   
Gonna be with you   
And no one's gonna be around   
If you think that you won't fall   
Well, just wait until   
'Til the sun goes down 

Underneath the starlight - starlight   
There's a magical feeling - so right

It'll steal your heart tonight…"

Why did it feel like she was singing to him? Zack wondered. Well, he told himself, she probably was. She didn't know anyone else there.

"You can try to resist   
Try to hide from my kiss   
But you know   
But you know that you

Can't fight the moonlight   
Deep in the dark   
You'll surrender your heart   
But you know   
But you know that you

Can't fight the moonlight   
No, you can't fight it   
It's gonna get to your heart…"

~*~

Max glanced at the girl onstage. Surprisingly enough, she actually had some talent. Most of the time, it was just a bunch of wannabes who weren't singers for a reason. She looked more closely at the girl. She looked familiar. Blonde hair, blue eyes… Suddenly, her eyes zeroed in on someone else. Was that Zack at the bar? She must be dreaming.

  
"There's no escape from love   
Was the gentle breeze   
Weaves its spell upon your heart   
No matter what you think   
It won't be too long   
'Til you're in my arms…"

"Be right back," she told Original Cindy.

"A'ight, boo," Cindy replied absently, her eyes focused on the girl onstage.

Max grinned and got up, walking over to Zack.

"Hey, big brother," she greeted him. He turned, startled, as though he hadn't expected to find her there. Right. Like he would come to Seattle for any other reason. To a club, no less.

"Hey, Maxie." He was silent for a moment, then asked, "What do you think of her?" He nodded to the girl onstage.

Max shrugged. "She's pretty good, I guess. Better than the usuals, who sound like fingernails grating on a chalkboard. Why do you ask?"

He just smiled secretively. "No reason."

Yeah, right.

"Whatev."

  
"Underneath the starlight - starlight   
We'll be lost in the rhythm - so right   
Feel it steal your heart tonight   
  
You can try to resist   
Try to hide from my kiss   
But you know   
But you know that you

Can't fight the moonlight   
Deep in the dark   
You'll surrender your heart   
But you know   
But you know that you

Can't fight the moonlight   
No you can't fight it   
No matter what you do   
The night is gonna get to you…"

~*~

As soon as Jondy saw the girl talking to Zack, she knew who it was. Max. She looked just like Jondy remembered, with big brown eyes and porcelain-like skin. Only difference was, now she had dark brown curls that fell to her shoulders. Like Tinga, Max favored the black cat-suit look. Go figure.

"Don't try then   
You're never gonna win

Part of me the starlight - starlight   
There's a magical feeling - so right   
It will steal your heart tonight…"

Just then, Max looked at her. Really looked at her. Her eyes widened in shock, and Jondy

knew she had recognized her. She didn't know what to do, so she didn't do anything. She just kept on singing.

"You can try to resist   
Try to hide from my kiss   
But you know   
But you know that you

Can't fight the moonlight   
Deep in the dark   
You'll surrender your heart   
But you know   
But you know that you

Can't fight the moonlight   
No, you can't fight it…"

Her eyes wandered back to Zack. He kept looking at her, then Max, and back again. Finally, she caught his eye and smiled. He smiled back. Maybe it was silly, but she really did care about him. In spite of the fact that he could be an asshole. In spite of everything.

"You can try to resist   
Try to hide from my kiss   
But you know   
Don't you know that you

Can't fight the moonlight   
Deep in the dark   
You'll surrender your heart   
But you know   
But you know that you

Can't fight the moonlight   
No, you can't fight it   
It's gonna get to your heart…"

There was a moment of silence, during which all of Jondy's self-confidence crumbled, then everyone burst into simultaneous applause. She grinned and bowed gracefully before walking off the stage. "They like me! They really like me!" she joked to herself as she joined Zack and Max.

Although it had only been moments before that she had been onstage, the object of everyone's scrutiny, it was only now that her stomach was aflutter with butterflies. Max. Her sister. Her friend. It had been, what, ten years? Too long.

"Hi, Max," Jondy ventured after they had stared at each other for a good five minutes without saying anything.

Max just shook her head, like she couldn't believe it. "Jondy…I…" Finally, Max just hugged her. "It's so good to see you."

"You, too," Jondy murmured, returning her sister's enthusiastic hug.

"So," Max said once they had sat down, "how have you been?"


	4. I Should Tell You

The song in here is "This Side of Me" by Savage Garden

The song in here is "This Side of Me" by Savage Garden. (C'mon, did you actually expect a chapter without song lyrics?) I think it fits in rather remarkably. Check it out.

~~*~~

For the next few hours, they exchanged stories of their lives, mainly the years right after the escape. Eventually, they were interrupted by feedback from the microphone. All heads turned towards the stage. A man was standing there, trying to fix the noise resonance. Finally, when it had quieted down, he began, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I please have your attention?"

__

Um, you've actually had it for quite a while now.

"We are now announcing the winners of the kareoke contest. The second runner-up, who receives $50, is…Joanne Johnson!"

Polite applause, as a young black woman stood up and made her way towards the stage. The man handed her a check, then read, "The first runner-up, who receives $100, is…April Marquez!" The girl who had been up before Jondy got up and walked to the stage. She was given a check, then the man continued, "And the winner, who receives the grand prize of $500, is…Angel!"

Thunderous applause met this announcement, or so Jondy liked to think. Max gave her a quick hug before she stood up and walked onto the stage. As the man handed her the check, he leaned over and whispered, "Ms. Angel, is there any chance you'd consider a job here?"

Jondy looked at him. "Doing what?"

"Singing, of course."

Of course. How silly of her. Was it just her, or were clubs in high demand for singers these days?

"I might," she said slowly.

"If you will follow me, we can discuss it in my office."

"Sure."

Jondy, ever cautious, warily followed him offstage and into a small room out back.

"Ms. Angel–"

"Just Angel."

"Of course. To put it bluntly, we're interested in hiring you as a singer."

"Uh-huh. Listen, Mr.…?"

"Johnson."

"Mr. Johnson, you'll forgive me for being skeptical, but you've only heard me sing once. How can you be sure that you even want to hire me?"

"Well, we believe that we should never let an opportunity pass by, and you, if I may say so, are a splendid opportunity."

"Yeah, I'm flattered," Jondy said dryly. "Okay, so supposing I did agree, what would the terms be?"

"Four or five nights a week, eight o'clock to one."

It struck her as interesting that he had an answer prepared. She wondered what other "opportunities" he dealt with.

"Um…can I get back to you?"

"Certainly." He handed her a business card. How professional.

"Thanks. Well, I'll be in touch."

"Please do."

Max and Zack were still at the bar where she had left them. She walked over to them quickly. "Hey, guys, I'm back. Thanks for waiting."

"Nice of you to join us," Zack remarked sardonically.

"Zack, shove it. They just offered me a job at the club."

"Really?" Max asked.

Jondy nodded. "Weird, huh?"

"What'd you say?"

"I told them I'd think about it," she answered. "And I will." She sighed, looking around. "I wish we had someplace quieter to talk."

"Well, why don't we go to Logan's place?" Max suggested.

Jondy and Zack exchanged looks. Finally, Jondy asked, "Won't he be a little upset that we're barging in at," she glanced at her watch, "midnight?"

"Don't worry," Max assured her. "Come on."

Obligingly, they followed her back to Logan's place. Of course, Zack grumbled the whole way. If he hadn't, it would have been un-Zack-like. Once they got there, they entered through the skylight. Jondy was relatively surprised to find a light still on inside.

"Logan!" Max called.

He walked in.

"Logan, this is Jondy. Jondy, Logan."

"We've met," Logan said with a grin. Jondy grinned back.

"How?" Max asked, confused.

"I came by looking for you, but you weren't here," Jondy explained. "But Logan was," she added with a grin.

Max just shrugged, as if to say "Whatever." "Whatever. Logan, I'm starved. Got anything to eat?"

"Go look for yourself," he answered. "You know where the fridge is."

As Max hunted through the refrigerator, Jondy sat cross-legged on the couch, Zack next to her. "So how did you two meet?" she asked Logan.

"Well, it's a long story…"

By the time they finished talking, it was almost two o'clock in the morning. The men were trying to stifle yawns, but the women were still going strong. Finally, Max noticed Logan unsuccessfully try to hide a yawn and laughed. "Jondy, I think the guys are falling asleep on us." Jondy glanced at Zack, who had one arm propped up under his head and was fast asleep.

"I think one of them's already gone," she said with a laugh.

"In that case," Logan said, trying to recover some of his dignity, "do you want to crash here for the night?"

"I take it you mean crash as in sleep this time?" Jondy asked. Max gave her a curious look, and she explained, "Just checking. Anyway, I'm too lazy to drag Zack across town, so yes, thank you."

"All right. Max, you take the guest bedroom, as usual. Jondy, do you want to stay with Max or…?"

"I'll stay here," she answered. "In case Zack wakes up and wants to split."

Max cocked her head to the side. "You actually do what he says?"

Jondy considered. "Okay, wrong choice of words. I'll stay here in case he wakes up and has an occupational hazard."

"Good enough. See you in the morning, if you're still here."

"All right. See ya."

Once they left, Jondy looked at Zack, who was still sleeping. A smile touching her lips, she took her boots and socks off, not wanting to muddy the expensive-looking couch. She tossed her jacket over the back of a chair and stretched. She didn't really _have_ to sleep, but she did it every once in a while when she had nothing better to do. Now it looked like she wouldn't have anything better to do for a while.

She lay down, stretching out the full length of the couch, which put her feet in Zack's lap. She debated whether to move, but she was kinda comfortable like this. Finally, she decided if he didn't like it, he could move. Closing her eyes, she soon fell asleep.

~*~

Zack woke up with a start, a single ray of sunlight falling across his face. Where was he? He looked around. Jondy was stretched out on the couch, asleep, her feet in his lap. The events of the night before came flooding back. They were at Logan's. No danger there. He got up, gently placing Jondy's feet back on the couch. Bending over her, he tried to wake her up. "Jondy."

She stirred, but didn't wake up. She didn't sleep much, but when she did, it took a nuclear explosion to wake her up. After calling her name a few more times, he decided to explore other options. He shook her lightly. She hit him in the arm. He tickled her feet (her toenails were still a sparkly violet color). Her foot lashed out at him. All this while she was still asleep.

Finally, he leaned over and kissed her, half-expecting a backlash that would send him flying across the room. Instead, her eyes opened almost immediately, her eyelashes brushing against his cheek. When he finally pulled away from her, she remarked, sitting up, "I could get used to wake-up calls like this." Knowing how she slept, she asked, "Was this the first thing you tried or a last resort?"

"Last resort."

"Next time try last resorts first. Did you try hitting me?"

"I thought you'd hit me back. You're mean when you're asleep."

She grinned. "I know."

Just then, Max walked in, cocked, locked, and ready to rock. Logan was close behind her. "All right, who wants breakfast?" he asked. Three hands raised in answer. He grinned and went to work, gourmet chef that he was.

"So, Max," Jondy said, pulling on her boots and lacing them deftly, "do you like Logan because he's cute or because he's a good cook?"

Max grinned. "Both." Then she added, "But we're not like that."

Jondy groaned. "Give it a rest. It's pretty damn obvious how you feel about each other and this whole denial thing is not going to get you anywhere."

"We're not in denial. We're just friends."

"Riiight." Jondy coughed, muttering a word that sounded suspiciously like "liar."

As they ate breakfast, blueberry pancakes with real syrup and orange juice, Max asked, "So, what did you decide about the job?"

Jondy shook her head. "I don't know. I mean, I just got a new place in California and all, but there's nothing keeping me there. But on the other hand, it could be too dangerous if I stay here."

"It _will_ be too dangerous if you stay here," Zack interrupted.

Jondy turned to him, her eyes stormy grey. "Who asked you, Zack?" she wanted to know. "You said it was too dangerous for Max to stay here, but she did, and she's doing just fine."

"If you stay, I can't be responsible for you anymore."

"Since when were you responsible for me, anyway?" she retorted.

Zack glared at her, a look which Jondy returned. Finally, he stood up and walked away. "Fuckin' male ego," Jondy muttered. She pulled out a crumpled business card from her pocket. She played with it for a while, her adroit fingers turning it over and over as she debated with herself. Finally, she stood up and walked to the phone.

Picking it up, she dialed the number on the card as Max watched her silently. "Hello? … Is Mr. Johnson there? … Sure. … Hello? … It's Angel. The singer you wanted to hire? … Yes. … I'll do it. … Sure. … Okay, thank you. … Bye." She hung up. She looked at Max and smiled. "Well, it looked like I'll be hanging around for a while."

~*~

Jondy was staying with Max and Original Cindy until she found a place of her own. She had gone back to California to get her stuff, but now she was back for good. Since her job at the club only covered nights and weekends and was not enough to support her financially, she was going to attempt to get a job at Jam Pony.

She hadn't seen Zack since he had walked out on her at Logan's. Well, to hell with him. She didn't need him. She could take care of herself just fine. Hadn't she proved that when she had come face-to-face with the big bad wolf himself? Lydecker was the enemy, and enemies could be defeated. Isn't that what they had taught them at Manticore?

A flashback. A classroom filled with children – soldiers – human beings. Lydecker stood at the front of the room, lecturing them on the art of war. "You are only as strong as your weakest link. This goes for your enemy as well. When in combat, physical or psychological, you must find their weakest link, and use it to crush them. Since they will try to do the same to you, you have to make your weakest link stronger than their strongest link."

Jondy shook her head and told herself to snap out of it. She was her own person now, not just a number. She would never be just a number again. _Never_, she repeated defiantly to herself as she pulled her shirt over her head. As she finished dressing, there was a knock on the door and Max stuck her head in. "Ready?"

"Ready."

They split up as soon as they reached Jam Pony, Max going to her footlocker and Jondy to the front desk. Max explained that it probably wouldn't help Jondy's chance of getting a job there if she was seen with her. Jondy shrugged and approached the desk, behind which was a man, who, as Max had said, screeched. There was just no other word for it.

"Excuse me?"

The man, inappropriately called Normal, looked at her.

"I was wondering if you had a job opening."

He groaned. "Not again."

Jondy was puzzled. "Excuse me, sir?"

"Listen, missy, I've dealt with your kind before."

"Um, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't play coy with me."

"If there's one thing I don't do, it's 'play coy'," Jondy snapped. She took a deep breath and tried to regain her composure. She didn't want to blow it. Or blow his head off, for that matter. Okay, well, she did sorta want to do the second thing, but she wasn't going to kill her would-be boss. It might look bad. She tried being reasonable. "Look, all I want is a job. If you hire me and you regret the decision later, just fire me. It's really not difficult."

After a moment, Normal (how the hell did he get that name?) reached under the counter and pulled out a few crumpled sheets of paper. "Fill this out and come back tomorrow," he grumbled. "9 A.M. sharp. You don't show up, you don't get the job."

__

Finally.

"Okay. I'll be there. Thank you."

"Yeah, think nothing of it."

__

Gee whiz, and I thought I was the only one who could be that openly sarcastic.

As they had previously agreed, Jondy met Max outside.

"How'd it go?" Max inquired.

"Like hell, but I got the job. I'm supposed to come back tomorrow at nine."

"Cool. Want to have lunch?"

Jondy nodded. "I'll meet you at Crash. Noon?"

"A'ight, cool. See ya."

"Bye."

~*~

Before she went to meet Max for lunch, Jondy stopped at a payphone and called the contact number. _Beep_. "Hey, Zack. I'm still in Seattle. I'm staying at Max's place until I can find my own apartment. I just wanted to let you know that…" She took a deep breath. She really hated apologizing. Especially to an answering machine. "That I'm sorry for blowing up at you last time you were here. I mean, don't think that you weren't being an asshole, 'cuz you were, but…I'm sorry. Okay, anyway, I gotta blaze. Bye."

She hung up quickly and walked to Crash, where Max was waiting for her. "Hey, Maxie. Sorry I'm late. I had to make a phone call."

"Zack?" Max asked.

Jondy nodded.

"What's it like moving around all the time?" Max asked as they sat down at a table that looked relatively clean. Only relatively.

Jondy shrugged. "I don't bother trying to make friends with anyone. First of all, I was never good at it. Second, this way, no one will notice when you leave. You don't have to make up any bullshit explanations."

"So you never had a boyfriend?"

_Cut right to the chase, don't you?_

But it wasn't Max Jondy was feeling bitter towards.

"I've had a few boyfriends, but nothing serious. Well, not really…"

"Not really?" Max repeated, a smirk on her face.

Jondy wondered whether to tell Max. No doubt she would get the same reaction as she did from Syl: a prolonged stare, followed by raucous laughter and obvious disbelief. At the time, Jondy had laughed it off and told Syl it was a joke. "Good one, Jondy," Syl had told her, eyes streaming because she had been laughing so hard. Yeah, real good one.

"It's nothing."

"It's something."

"Yeah, well, it's nothing I want to talk about right now, okay?" Jondy snapped. She sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just…brings back painful memories, you know?"

"I feel ya."

_Do you? You don't even know the half of it_.

Finally, right in the middle of their conversation, out of blue, Jondy said, "Zack."

_Why the hell did I just say that?_

Max looked around. "Where?"

"No, I mean…" Jondy sooo did not want to spell it out for her.

Max stared at her in confusion until the clouds lifted and she understood. "Ohhh. Oh. Oh." Essentially the same syllable, said oh so many different ways.

Jondy nodded. "I know."

"But he's, like, our brother." Max struggled to put into words what she was trying to say. But Jondy knew. Yes, Jondy knew what she was saying, and what she wasn't saying. Which was basically that, besides almost being her brother, in a non-biological kind of way, he was, well, Zack.

"Zack stopped being my brother a long time ago," she said simply.

"But he's…_Zack_."

"I know."

There was a long pause.

"Well, to each her own, I guess."

"Thanks, Max. That's encouraging."

Sarcasm, anyone?

Well, at least she didn't laugh.

~*~

Zack listened to the message and had to smile. Only Jondy could apologize and call someone an asshole in the same breath. He had made his rounds, so to speak, and was just coming back from Nevada, where Zane had decided to reside after the close call two months ago. Had it only been two months? It seemed so much longer.

It was that time of the year. Christmas cheer and whatnot. He gazed out the window as grey rain fell in a light but persistent drizzle, enveloping his view in a depressing translucent veil. Well, that's cheer for you. A deficient reason to be happy when there's nothing to be happy about. As if in response, he could hear Jondy as clearly as if she stood beside him.

"You're such a killjoy, Zack."

"I know," he said quietly to himself.

Maybe it was time to make another trip to Seattle.

~*~

"Jondy and Zack. I mean, talk about weird." Max was pacing back and forth in front of Logan. She had promised Jondy she wouldn't tell anyone (tell who?), but in her mind, Logan was exempt from all promises of that nature. It didn't even occur to her that she was breaching someone's confidence as she told him when Jondy had told her.

"Why is it weird?" Logan wanted to know. He was just glad Zack had finally gotten over Max. If the way Zack felt towards Max was brotherly, he'd eat his wheelchair.

Max shrugged. "I don't know. It just…is."

"Glad you think so," said a voice behind them sardonically. They both turned around.

Zack leaned against the doorframe, Mr. Macho in all looks and purposes.

"Did I come at a bad time?"

Logan wondered if saying "yes" would make him go away. Nah.

"Have you seen Jondy yet?" Max asked.

"Not yet. Of course, judging from what you said, it might be…weird if I did." If anyone could be as verbally scathing and derisive as Zack without being outright insulting, Max would like to meet that person. Or maybe she wouldn't.

"Is the feeling mutual?" Logan asked. He was trying for a diplomatic way to ask if Zack loved Jondy, or was capable of loving anyone, for that matter. He had his own doubts as far as that went.

Zack stared at him. "That's none of your damn business."

"No, it's not, but I'm asking anyway."

Zack just glared at him and turned to Max. "Where is she?"

She rattled off the address like she had been expecting him to ask. Which she had.

"Not your place." It wasn't a question.

"She got her own apartment two weeks ago."

"Oh." The message was a month old. "Thanks." He turned to leave.

"Wait." He turned back and looked at Max. "What Logan said."

Was the feeling mutual?

"I don't know."

He looked at her, and they had a shared moment of perfect understanding. Were they, were any of them, really capable of giving themselves completely to another person?

He didn't know. There were just too many things he didn't know.

~*~

Jondy was lying on her bed, reading, her stereo blaring, when she heard the window slide open. Only knowing one person who would use a window to get into an apartment on the thirteenth floor, she grinned. Five seconds later, Zack sauntered in. "Hey, Jondy."

"Hey yourself," she said with a smile, closing her book and setting it aside. She stood up, swinging her feet over the edge. Then, without any warning, she practically leapt at him and hugged him so tightly, he thought she was going to break something. He hugged her back, burying his face in his hair. She still smelled like lavender and mint. Some things never change. And sometimes everything does.

When she finally let go, she sat back down on the bed and asked, "So how've you been?" She patted the bed next to her, and Zack sat down besides her, feeling slightly apprehensive.

"I've been okay. I just got your message a few days ago."

There was a pause.

"Um, Zack…" she began.

"Jondy…" he said at the same time.

"You first," they said in unison.

The music from Jondy's stereo filled the uncomfortable silence that followed.

__

Never want to fly  
Never want to leave  
Never want to say what you mean to me  
Never want to run  
Frightened to believe  
You're the best thing about me

Jondy looked at Zack, who was staring steadily at the floor. His hair fell forward, hiding his eyes from view. Jondy reached towards him, then stopped. Maybe physical contact wasn't the best idea right now. Oh well; she could think of worse ones. She tried to tuck his hair behind his ear, but it kept falling back into his face. She was working from a very awkward angle, so she moved towards him, doing what she could short of crawling into his lap, although truthfully, that wasn't such a bad idea.

Finally, she combed his hair back away from his face with her fingers. When she started to move back, his hand caught hers and held it. She turned to look at him; their faces were inches apart. Simultaneously, they moved to close the distance between them.

__

Sometimes I feel like this is only chemistry  
Stuck in a maze searching for a way to  
Shut down run around feel the ground beneath me  
You're so close where do you end where do I begin?  
Always pushing and pulling  
Sometimes sanity takes vacation time on me  
I'm in a daze stumbling bewildered  
North of gravity head up in the stratosphere  
You and I roller coaster riding love  
You're the center of adrenaline  
And I'm beginning to understand

He kissed her softly, then with increasing intensity. She kissed him back hesitantly, wondering whether she should shatter the moment or just go with the flow. But she was headstrong and a woman besides. So what could she do? She pulled away from him. He looked at her, the lust draining away from his eyes as he registered the solemnity in her face.

__

Never want to fly  
Never want to leave  
Never want to say what you mean to me  
Never want to run  
Frightened to believe  
You're the best thing about me

"Zack," she began, voice quiet, "what do we have? What is this? I mean, do we love each other? Do we just lust after each other? What?" She sounded lost, not like the self-assured, witty person she usually came off as.

At first, he didn't say anything, and she was worried that he was retreating into his detached soldier mode. Then he reached towards her. She held very still, afraid to move, afraid to breathe. He brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face, tracing her jawline. He cupped her face with his hand, running his thumb over her cheek. He touched her face like he'd memorize the way it felt. His fingers skimmed over her lips; a soft gasp escaped her.

__

Walk on broken glass make my way through fire  
These are the things I would do for love  
Farewell peace of mind kiss goodbye to reason  
Up is down the impossible occurs each day  
This intoxication thrills me  
I only pray it doesn't kill me

Slowly, he leaned towards her, close enough that she could feel his breath on her face, but he didn't kiss her. She looked up and met his eyes. Usually cold and distant, they were filled with something that warmed her all over. Not lust, but something else. And Jondy knew that he cared about her as much as he knew how. Maybe he even loved her. Whatever it was, it was enough.

__

Never want to fly  
Never want to leave  
Never want to say what you mean to me  
Never want to run  
Frightened to believe  
You're the best thing about me

He bowed his head so their foreheads touched. They just stayed like that for a few moments, letting the music infuse the silence. Finally, she tilted her face towards his so their lips met. They kissed, long and sweet. Everything that followed was still the same, but now the thoughts, the feelings, the _reasons _behind them were different. Because now they knew they cared.

__

You're the center of adrenaline  
And I'm beginning to understand  
You could be the best thing about me  
  
Never want to fly  
Never want to leave  
Never want to say what you mean to me  
Never want to run  
Frightened to believe  
You're the best thing about me  
  
You could be the best thing about me  
What if you're the best thing about me?

~~*~~


	5. Epilogue: Happy New Year

~~*~~

~~*~~

Zack stuck around for Christmas. New Year's, too. For Christmas, Max and I proved that great minds really do think alike. We gave each other pictures of us with our motorcycles. Now mine has a frame that says "Together forever" and has its own space on my dresser so I can see it every time I get dressed. I'm trying to get a picture of me and Zack, but he still thinks having photos of your friends is like pointing out your weaknesses to the bad guys. Maybe he's right, but I'll take my chances.

We celebrated New Year's Eve at Logan's penthouse. Nothing like fine wine to bring in the New Year. Max and Logan really _are_ a cute couple, although they won't admit it. If ever I saw two people more in denial… Well, I haven't. But I think I brought them one step closer together when I got them underneath the mistletoe at Christmas. When they kissed, I restrained myself from cheering. Barely. At any rate, I'm working on them.

Max is still getting used to me and Zack being together. But hey, we're still getting used to it, too. But you know, I think everything will turn out okay. And who knows? It just might be a happy new year after all.

~

__

I couldn't crack the love code, dear

'Til you made the lock on my heart explode

It's gonna be a happy new year

A happy new year

~

~*~


End file.
